Just a little message there…

I want you to know that things will get better. Maybe you were abused or had a rough childhood. Maybe you lost someone near and dear to you. Maybe you’re just down on yourself.  Maybe the stresses of life are overwhelming you, or you just don’t feel like anything is going your way. I just want you to know that I, too, have been where you are. I, too, have suffered abuse in my life and been taken advantage of by people. And even though I have been through it too, I can’t pretend that I know what it feels like to be in your skin or to feel the pain you have experienced in your life. I do know that it can and will get better. I could write you a map but it would take you to the wrong place, because we are each on our own journey. But what I do know is that with unimaginable pain comes immeasurable strength. I, too, have thought that I didn’t deserve any more than the cards I was dealt. But I can tell you that I was wrong. When I couldn’t find kindness, people like you have showed me kindness. I know that you have a great heart and you deserve all the love that this world has to give. I just want you to know that if you ever need an ear to listen..that I don’t judge you, criticize you, or want anything from you. Actually, that’s not true. I want you to know that you’re not alone. And that we can sometimes let the ugliness of this world and its ugly people consume us, but there is ten times more beauty than ugly. They might get us down for a bit, but I have faith and truly believe that you can and always will see brighter days. Be strong, xx ♥️♥️♥️


The Real Colours of the New Jersey housewives!


Everyone has heard by now that Teresa and Joe Giudice have been sentenced. Joe received 41 months and Teresa 15 months on fraud charges. Teresa’s cast mates have been taking the opportunity to speak out on the subject. Some were supportive, while others were pretending to be. But were any of them gloating about her punishment?

**UPDATED: Since writing this post Teresa has served her sentence and Joe is currently serving his.

The following information comes from what I have witnessed on social media, from Teresa’s “friends” and “family,” and also ex-castmates, that were possibly working together to knock Teresa off her throne and to hopefully nail the coffin shut on the Giudices. I’ll start with Kathy and Jacqueline.

Kathy and Jacqueline have never had a close relationship, up until now. When Jacqueline and Teresa were being friendly again during the season 5 reunion, we saw Jacqueline pretend to sleep when it was Kathy’s turn to speak. Not exactly supportive and friendly.

What then brought the two so close together? For starters, they were both there after demoted from the show. And at that same time, both were not welcome to film with the other ladies. Some might say they came together because of their mutual hate for Teresa.

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Kathy and Jacqueline seem to have some of the viewers fooled as to how “kind” and “sweet,” they actually are. In my humble opinion, these two are vindictive. They were not happy that Teresa was getting all the attention and that she wanted nothing to do with them.

Teresa and Joe appeared in an interview with Andy Cohen on “Watch What Happens Live,” the day after they were sentenced. It was a very emotional time. They barely had time to process their thoughts and feelings. 

When the host Andy Cohen asked Teresa if any of her cast mates had reached out during this difficult time, she responded that Dina and Amber had.

Teresa told Andy that she had seen Jacqueline’s name on her phone, but she did not have time to look at all of her text messages; as there were just too many.

Kathy “apparently” texted Teresa also. During this time of grief, Kathy decided that if her name wasn’t publicly mentioned on Watch What Happens Live, that it was in fact the end of the world and that viewers wouldn’t view her as the “supportive cousin.”


Kathy seems to believe that the world revolves around her and if she didn’t get a mention from her cousin, (who is going through the worst time in her life right now) then that justifies her in lashing out.

Teresa and Kathy do not have a close relationship anymore. I can’t imagine why. Kathy and Jacqueline have been on a social media frenzy, retweeting any compliments they get from viewers. They don’t like the fact that Teresa is so loved, when they obviously have so much disdain for her.


I beg to differ. Jacqueline was crying on last week’s episode; explaining to viewers that Teresa was like a sister to her, and how bad she felt for her.

Jacqueline also said, that she had hoped Teresa would have let her “be there for her.”  She said that she reached out to Teresa,via text.

You can watch that video here: http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-jersey/season-6/videos/hear-jacquelines-text-to-teresa

Jacqueline knows that not all the viewers are on social media.  And I’ve followed all the ladies of RHONJ on social media since the first season. Jacqueline’s behaviour on the social media is not the same behaviour we see on housewives.

Jacqueline immediately began favouriting negative comments about Teresa after that. It all seems fake, conniving and sneaky to me.


If this is how Jacqueline treats a sister, I think it’s pretty clear why Teresa would not want a relationship with her.


How does this viewer think Jacqueline cares for what Teresa is going through based on those favourites? You can’t blame the viewers, Jacqueline was crying to be there for Teresa on the episode! And not all the fans know how Twitter works.

There is more back story to this, like I previously stated, I have been watching the interactions on Twitter for a long time.

Jacqueline had “allegedly” been working with a group of people including Kim Granatell ( an elderly lady who has had a cameo on the show) Monica Chacon (a lawyer who has had a confrontation with Teresa) Tom Murro (a gossip writer who crashes parties and uses these women allegedly as sources for his gossip writing) to “take down Teresa.”

Straight from the horse’s mouth, Kim G began tweeting that Jacqueline could have been involved with feeding the government information about Teresa.

Watch the video below, where you will clearly hear Monica Chacon admit on HLN that she was directly working with the federal government collecting information to indict Teresa and Joe Giudice.

Watch it here:

Monica Chacon was involved. So, if Jacqueline Laurita was not involved, why would Kim G begin to sing and dance all over Twitter about how happy Monica, Kim, and EVEN Jacqueline Laurita were right after Teresa was arrested?

Here are some tweets from Kim G claiming that Jacqueline was a part of the take down. These tweets are not MY opinions. These are straight from Kim’s Twitter account.


Kim admits her conspiracy to take Teresa down and  “Jacqueline will be thrilled.”


Kim G and Monica were never close with Teresa at any point, ever. But I do know of a few people who were. Jacqueline Laurita being one of them. Who possibly could have fed Kim G and Monica all that close and personal information they would have needed?

Here’s a direct quote from Monica Chacon to Radar Online where she admits to working with the government.

I don’t think I need to spell it out for anyone. You’re all smart people. How would any of us feel if we were suspicious of a friend possibly being involved with a situation like this. Is that why Jacqueline is usually crying in a lot of episodes about Teresa? Maybe over, oh.. I don’t know..GUILT? 

Teresa has never claimed to be perfect and she has served her time. But imagine wondering if someone could be that evil?

Teresa tried to forgive Jacqueline this season and we all saw how well that went. 

Melissa stated on Watch What Happens Live this week, that Jacqueline constantly talks about the housewives, and that she is always in everyone’s business. But what kind of people would take pleasure in taking four kids away from their parents?

After Teresa’s sentence, Kim G went on to post more tweets.



This kind of behaviour from grown women is disturbing. None of them have clean pasts or hands either. Jacqueline can say her bankruptcy is different from Teresa’s, because hers was a business bankruptcy, but if you read the actual documents, there is a lot of “alleged” suspicious activity going on there. Private planes, buying all family members new vehicles, and there were “alleged” embezzlements too. All you have to do is google it.



Jacqueline continues to converse with Tom Murro daily as Kim G put it.


The only thing that rocks in Kim’s world are the ones shifting around in her head. Tom was recently accused of crashing an event and stealing merchandise from the party. Yet, he likes to throw stones at Teresa for “stealing” millions, when in fact the Giudices were never accused of “theft” only falsifying documents.


Wow, talk about throwing stones when you live in a glass house! I urge you all not to support any of these people and their bad behaviours. They are not good people in my opinion. They look to hurt others at any cost for their own personal agendas.


Yes Kathy, everyone is trying to steal your joy, how fitting. But don’t forget what they really believe and want you to believe…


If by fresh you mean resentful, vindictive, hurtful, mean, self-serving, noise pollution, then yes I agree.

Thanks for Reading… Until next time Jen XOXO

Kathy responds to Rich calling woman’s deceased father a pedophile!


Another day, another drama in Jersey! Yesterday we posted a story about Rich Wakile calling a woman’s deceased father a pedophile! You can read it here:https://lopezjlo.wordpress.com/2014/07/27/richard-wakile-calls-womans-deceased-father-a-pedophile/

The internet site Twitter was buzzing about the comment to @Tb5977 on twitter that her deceased father was in fact a pedophile.



The reason that Rich had such a strong reaction to this tweeter was over this tweet she had made.



None of the comments seemed to be in favour of Rich Wakile’s behaviour. This is not the first time Richard has taken shots at fans of the show, but then he usually deletes his comments in order to appear innocent.

Kathy must have got wind yesterday about the situation and she had this to say to anyone who has an issue with her husband and his reckless comment!




What a poor example for Kathy to not only condone Rich’s (overboard) reaction to his critics, but it shows her kids it’s ok to say horrible things to people as long as they deserve it, and you feel they started it. Bravo, Kathy!

I wonder what Teresa Giudice would think about Kathy condoning Rich’s words towards women, since Teresa has been on his receiving end before.


The only man who is a coward is Rich Wakile for not taking responsibility for his words and apologizing. A coward, who says horrible things to random women then he deletes it.


Yes indeed, show some class. Say what you want about Teresa, but I have never seen her respond with hate to any mean Twitter comments. She gets her fair share too.

Once again please I urge you all to join me and pray for the Wakiles. They need it most.


Thanks for Reading..until next time..

Jen XO


Richard Wakile calls woman’s deceased father a pedophile!


It looks like another ex cast mate of The Real Housewives of New Jersey is (once again) having a Twitter Meltdown!! A few fans of the show were having a conversation about the Wakiles, and how they would not be famous if it wasnt for their cousin the breakout star of #RHONJ-Teresa Giudice!

Rich did not take to the comment very well, and he took it to a new low~ Rich decided to attack the tweeter’s (@TB5977) twitter avi of her as a child with her now deceased Father and he has caused quite the controversy with fans of the show.  – See Below.


Here is  the comment that was made that set Rich Wakile off the rails. He then made a statement back about her father being a pedophile, which he later deleted but was captured by screenshot.


In regards to @TB5977 ‘s Twitter avi.


The picture is of @TB5977 ‘s deceased father who passed away when she was 9 years old. Very odd to have such a strong reaction to such a little comment. The crime doesn’t fit the punishment. A very cruel response. I have also lost my Father and would be very upset if someone were to make such a nasty comment in regards to his character. For the record, Rich has also lost his Father.

Tweeter’s became upset (including myself) and sent Rich some tweets, in hopes he would apologize.






He still has not apologized.

Rosie Pierri who is Rich Wakile’s sister in law was on her own twitter timeline having a meltdown and blaming the fans again, who she claims are all angry and hateful!




Apparently it is ok to call people a D*ck and a p*ssy and someone’s deceased father a pedophile on a Sunday, but not ok for anyone to say anything else.


Yes, Rosie we will all make sure to take advice from you on how our hearts need to be examined while you and your brother in law continue to spread hate. Thank you for the tip. Instead of a proper apology which anyone with a conscious would be compelled to do, Rich made it clear she got what she deserved.


Rosie and the tweeter had this to say and I have to say this is the only advice I will be taking from her.


I ask you all to take a second and pray for Rosie and Rich Wakile. They need it more than any of us.

Rosie known to have many violent outburst in the past, also made it clear she would meet this tweeter @leopard_Man_ any time and any place, so she can physically attack him!! Examine yourselves people because the fans are the problem according to her logic.


UPDATED**** Kathy Wakile must have seen what twitter was saying about her husband and had this to say in response!


Thanks for Reading… Until next time JenXO

The Real Housewives of New Jersey brings out the crazy on Twitter! Part 2 :)


Ex housewife of New Jersey Danielle Staub launched an all out attack on all her former castmates! The most confusing part is that Danielle was asked by Andy Cohen to return to the show, yet she declined three times! Not sure what her problem is, but why return to a show now when you hate all the other women?!


Now that Danielle is ready to rejoin the show she has been on a twitter campaign to get fans to see the “truth” about all the others.


Danielle telling fans that Jacqueline Laurita told her that Dina and Caroline did not speak to one of their brothers’ Joe for 12 yrs until his son passed away. This is beyond sad to repeat. True or not.


Danielle says Jac told her Dina spends her charity money on herself. (old rumour)  Dina has proved otherwise with records in the past that this was not true.


Danielle talking about Jacqueline’s own bankruptcy problems, and that it’s Jacqueline’s “Karma”


Here you can see Danielle interacting with fans, telling them that Jac is a “wacko” so if that’s the case, why should we believe anything that Jac has told her ?? It’s obvious Jac likes to stir up trouble and lie.

Danielle wasn’t done, she decided to take shots at other Housewives including Dina, Teresa, Melissa, Amber, even the twins who just joined the show!

Danielle telling fans that Dina’s only story line this season will be Danielle, that will be interesting to see, if it happens…which we’ve seen in previews isn’t the case.


According to Danielle, all of the New Jersey Housewives lives are in fact her business.

Next up on the list, as she “Rounds ’em up” is Teresa Giudice.


Danielle retweeted that Teresa’s court cases were her “Karma”  IMG_0421

A confused follower asked her why she was attacking Teresa all of a sudden and that was her reply. If you follow Danielle on twitter she was ok towards Teresa for some time this past year.


Danielle then retweeted a comment that she agreed with, that Teresa’s kids were “disrespectful” and “mouthy” on camera.

Then in an ironic twist someone had made a comment about her kids and Danielle got very offended! I have to agree kids should be off limits! Including Teresa’s kids!


Next up on the list for Danielle’s light and love twitter campaign was Melissa and Joe Gorga.



In a strange twist, next up on her hit list were the twins, who have only recently joined the show this season, and have no prior relationship with Danielle!


I guess not everyone is as excited as the fans are for the new season!!


Not wanting to be left out of the drama, Rosie “i’ll cut your tongue out” Pierri was retweeting anything positive about herself and her sister Kathy in hopes to boost her bruised ego since Kathy’s role on RHONJ has been diminished. Rosie also threw a few digs at her cousin premiere night by making sure to show love to everyone on the show except for her  cousin Teresa!




New Jersey Housewives really do bring out the crazy and this is only the first episode!! Can only imagine what’s in store for the rest of the season!!

Thanks for Reading!… Until next time Jen XO




The Real Housewives of New Jersey brings out the crazy on Twitter! Part 1:)


What’s another season of Real housewives of NJ without some Laurita/Holmes crazy tweets about their co stars! RHONJ ex castmate Jac Laurita and her daughter Ashlee started a twitter war with Dina Manzo after the season premiere of RHONJ!

Ex cast members aren’t so pleased about Dina Manzo’s return to the show!

Let’s take a look at all the nonsense flying around social media yesterday, we’ll start with Jacqueline, Ashlee, Dina and even Dina’s daughter Lexi- had something to say!

It all started with a tweet that Ashlee posted from her instagram. Ashlee threw the first shot across the bow, with this comment about her Aunt Dina who had made a statement on the show that she was “Zen” until you cross her.


After this tweet was brought to Dina’s attention from resident RHONJ blogger “@AllaboutTRH”


Dina made a little comment back, in her own defence.


This tweet sent Jacqueline and Ashlee into a meltdown.





It’s ridiculous that Jac reacted like this all over Dina’s comment “this is why I stay away”. Clearly, anyone would stay away from “family”  that would threaten a member so publicly to “expose” their skeletons over something so petty.

In true Jacqueline style, she decided to attack Dina then tweet about rainbows and unicorns again. This is not the first time she has behaved like this. In fact, she has done the exact same thing with Danielle and Teresa. Jac gets upset at followers to “get over it now” because she said so! IMG_0382


Ashlee decided that all the twitter followers needed to “get lives” and “move on” and find real causes to fight! Didn’t she start this? How did it become our fault? IMG_0395

The blogger who had posted the story, had a few things to say to Jac, and started calling her out on her nonsense!

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Dina Manzo’s daughter Lexi sent Ashlee a tweet. I’m sure Lexi was confused as the rest of us, as to why Ashlee even started this to begin with!



WOW Ashlee is so rude and she hasn’t changed, or learnt much at all since her first seasons on the show, behaving the exact same way she did as a teenager!

Even jacqueline’s Mother in law, who is Dina Mother and Lexi’s Grandmother, took to her twitter page to ask all the hate to stop!


They all stopped tweeting but if you know Jacqueline, she just can’t help herself, and began Direct Messaging followers about Dina, which she is also known to do in the past with other castmates such as Danielle Staub and Teresa Giudice.


Yikes! This lady needs to close her account and stay away from all social media if she can’t handle people defending themselves!!

The funniest part is the day before Jac was wishing all the women of Real Housewives of New Jersey a great season! Wonder if she still feels the same way!IMG_0435

Thanks for Reading…Until next time Jen XO

Say No to Bullying!


I was recently asked to do an interview for an “Anti-Bullying” blog, I am more than happy to share that interview with you today. I hope you all will take the time to read it and share but also do your part to stop enabling this kind of behaviour!

Here is the link to the original interview:  http://www.bullseye-bullying.blogspot.com.au/2014/07/from-canada-please-meet-wonderful.html?m=1

1)  Please tell us a little bit about your background;

A: My name is Jennifer Bradley-Lopez, born on April 1983, in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. I am currently a stay at home Mom with two gorgeous kids. I guess you could say I grew up in a less than perfect lifestyle. I was raised by my single mother when my parents split due to my father’s physical abuse on my mother. My father, then picking up and deciding to move away to Miami, Florida at my tender age of five years old abandoned me without any financial or emotional support. I grew up with an unconscious yearning for a father figure in my life and always seem to get in trouble along the way because of that. Just as the song goes – I was looking for love in all the wrong places.

I managed to overcome a lot of hard times including physical abuse, substance abuse and at times low self-worth and came out of my dark times stronger and wiser for it.

As for my personality, the people in my life describe me as vivacious, outgoing, very opinionated, compassionate, a bleeding heart for everyone and anyone in need, spiritual, aggressive, impulsive, eye for beauty in the ordinary things in life, intelligent, confident, short fuse at times, energetic, strong, fiery and a survivor.

2) You were an aspiring actor, model, musician. Have you always wanted to be in entertaining somehow or other or did you aspire to be something else when you were growing up?

A: I have always been a creative and artistic person – I have always been passionate about singing, dancing and acting. I got married and pregnant at an early age and that became another passion of mine and everything else just didn’t seem as important.  I decided now, as kids get older, and they need you less and less, that it was important I had something for myself. I have chosen to try my hand at creative writing. I also recently re joined “StarNow” because I believe in taking chances and risks. A good idea since that’s how we met!

3)  Have you ever been bullied?

A: My earliest memory of being ganged up on was in grade school, and I remember it like it was yesterday. I was in the fourth grade and I was part of a popular girls’ clique. We were a group of six girls and we ruled our grade.The leader, I will call her Veronica. She kinda reminds me of a Veronica type of girl from the ‘Archie’ comics.

Veronica was a beautiful, wealthy girl. She was the youngest of two girls. Her sister Caroline was already in college. Veronica was wise beyond her years, she had learnt a lot from her older sister Caroline. I thought it was so cool that Veronica knew so much about heavy metal music and what was cool in the early 90s. I would go over to Veronica’s house a lot. Her parents were lawyers and seemed like they were always busy and never home. Her sister would teach us about all the cool bands like ‘Motley Crue’ and ‘Metallica’. We would just watch her older sister in awe. Veronica and I became very close friends.

I remember Veronica would come over to my house and we would dress up in my Mom’s negligees, pretend to make important calls on my Mom’s cell phones (with those huge 80s phones-that looked more like fax machines!) held up to our ears, as we sipped ginger ale out of champagne glasses and we thought we were so sophisticated and cool. Veronica told me to go steal one of my Mom’s smokes, so of course I did whatever Veronica wanted me to do at the time (she was the leader of our cool group!) then we would go out to my uncle’s MGB, an old classic car that was parked in our drive way under a tarp and smoked (at least for me) my first cigarette and it made me feel like a badass. I guess that might be where it started but it didn’t end there by any means.

It was recess at school and Veronica instructed us all to “line up against the wall” as she had an announcement to make. We normally did this everyday. It makes me laugh now, thinking back.

“We are going to be performing ‘Under the Bridge’ by the ‘Red Hot Chilli Peppers’ for the talent show this year!” she said. We all went along with whatever she said like robots, even though I didn’t know the song, nor did I care to perform it.

Veronica ran the clique and the rest of us followed. I’ve never really been comfortable as a follower, but I considered her a good friend so I was happy to oblige for a while. It wasn’t until May 1993 – I still remember the date very vividly in my mind. It was the Stanley cup playoffs and if you live in Canada, you know hockey is a big deal. The two teams who would end up playing in the Stanley Cup finals that year would be the Montreal Canadians (our home team) and the Los Angeles Kings.

Naturally, everyone was rooting for the Montreal Canadians in our school but at the time, I had a friend who lived across the street from me, who didn’t attend my school, and he was a huge Wayne Gretzky fan. Wayne G played for the Los Angeles Kings. He had become my favourite hockey player. I had made the mistake of exclaiming at one of our daily recess line ups, that I didn’t want the Canadians to win anyways, I wanted the Kings to win!

The reaction I got from my statement, I certainly had not expected. I might have well said I was going to throw one of their parents into a fire. I think I would have gotten a better reaction.

Veronica immediately made it clear to everyone I was thrown out of the group! A little much in my opinion, and I might have accepted the punishment, until Veronica then decided to get the whole grade four class to ignore me. I went from being in the most popular group in our grade, to being a leper. Quite the blow to my ten year old ego.

Suddenly I went from having a strong group of girlfriends, whom I considered good friends, to not having one person who would even bother to say hello to me. It was quite cruel actually, and you know how the old saying goes; “kids can be cruel”. We had sleepover parties, laughs together, we talked everyday – now nothing but dirty looks and cold shoulders.

It didn’t end there. It became painfully obvious to me that some of the kids were not “allowed” to talk to me any more because I was no longer in the group. They didn’t want to get thrown out of the group either. In hindsight I guess I can’t blame them – it was awful. I soon realized that I was on my own now and no longer had a posse. Other kids in my grade, who weren’t even in the group figured this was the perfect time to get revenge on me for never paying them any attention.

The bell rang one day after recess, and we all lined up to go back inside like we usually did. One of the boys in my class walked up to me and kicked me right in the shin and spit at my face! We wore tunics and bobby socks, so he got me on bare skin and it hurt. Not wanting to show that he had affected me in any way, I continued walking in with a smile on my face, until I hit the washroom, ran into a bathroom stall and busted out crying.

The old saying was true – kids can be cruel. I just couldn’t help but think – imagine – all this for liking Wayne Gretzky! I wonder if he knows what some people go through to show him support. Somehow I don’t think so.

I was very happy at the end of that school year. That month was long and hard, without one person having the courage to stand up and be my friend. I cried to my mother that whole summer. I didn’t want to go back to that school. The kids were mean. I wanted to go to the Catholic school that still had a French immersion program that I had been taking at my school. My mother agreed. I was so happy I would not have to see or deal with those girls ever again.

The answer at that time for me was to run away. It was easy, it was simple, it worked – for a while. The truth of the matter is though, you can run away from any problems you have, but in the end, they will always come back to haunt you in different forms.

Groups of girls will always be groups of girls, even if they aren’t the same girls.

Even at the age of thirty I still see the exact same behaviour as I did at the tender age of ten, with people twice my age on social media sites.

It’s sad because I thought I was done with those juvenile games. The truth is I am, but some people are not and that’s ok, because I am.
I just have to remind myself that I chose not to play. That situation really changed me at an early age. I have since always strived to be independent. I always want to make my own decisions based on what I like and what I feel is right. I have never had any desire to be part of any cool girls’ “clique” since.

4)  Whether you have been bullied or not, do you think that the governments and schools around the world are doing enough to try to combat this problem?

A: When I was a kid you could send your kid to school and it was the safest place next to home for them to be. Nowadays not so much.

Bullying is an extreme issue today. Children are taking the problems into their own hands, before the adults even have a chance to know what is really going on, and sometimes by then it’s much too late. Why is this becoming the new normal? Why isn’t there more public outrage and action being taken to ensure this is eliminated?

When you talk to a parent that their child might be having an issue, parents get very defensive when it comes to their kids, in my opinion, out of fear that in some shape, way, or form – it’s a reflection on them.

I have to ask though, isn’t it better that these questions be reflected on from the parents? If a child is having an issue of any kind  it is certainly worth examining. It needs to be examined in order to get resolved. If the parents don’t try to resolve it for them, then the child is going to go off into the world and possibly do something horrible, which still has a bad reflection on the parent.

We can’t bury our heads in the sand anymore. It starts at an early age and it starts at home.

We as adults all carry around baggage. An invisible bag of rocks, if you will, on our shoulders. One of the main problems I see a lot is too many adults do not realize the emotions they pass on to their children. Until they begin to unload the “emotional” rocks in their back packs, the children suffer. Adults need to realize that kids feel their parents’ vibrations. They know if parents are unhappy, they feel it and they follow our examples.

Home life needs to feel secure and happy and is the main source of learning about love and acceptance.

In schools I feel like they need a really good counsellor in every school – one that isn’t there to judge them at all on their bad behaviours, but one who really cares to listen to each of them. A listener who wants to help.

To make them feel like whatever it is they are missing in their lives there is still someone who wants to hear their pains and worries. Who strives to truly guide them in the right direction.

I also believe parents need to stop medicating the children. Falling into the ever so popular pharmaceutical trap. It does not help anyone’s frame of mind to be drugged. Life is confusing enough. Sidenote:  What I mean by that is not to just throw drugs at the issue because it’s the simpler route or someone suggests it. All avenues of therapy should be considered first. Of course, each case is different and sometimes the parent is left with no other option, which in that case is understandable.

5)  What further do you feel the above could do to either reduce this problem hugely, or eliminate it altogether?

A: For starters we need to understand that the next generation is who we need to focus on. They are the ones who will follow our “examples.” Kids watch what we do, not what we say. We need to be the examples to them, consistently.

How can we teach our kids and ourselves that this kind of behaviour isn’t acceptable?

Let’s start with some simple steps:

1.) We need to be involved in our kids’ lives – to know what’s truly going on. We need to stop being so busy and we need to stay involved in their lives. If we can’t then we need to find someone who can be in their lives.

2.) We need to teach kids to accept each other, exactly the way they are, all the time.

3.) We need to be conscious if we are in fact leading by bad examples. We need to be aware if we are bullying in our grown-up adult world with others.

I can’t count how many times I have sat back and listened to adult women, up in their fifties and sixties, who are constantly critiquing other women and judging them on anything and everything.

What this does, is teach children around them that this is a normal way of life.

The more we sit around and gossip about celebrities and/or the woman down the street, the more you show influential kids and teens, that this judgmental behaviour is right and normal. We have to teach acceptance.

I, as a thirty year old woman am supposed to look up to the older generation for wisdom and guidance. I just don’t find it as much as I should. It’s ok that we are all different, we all have different opinions, mannerisms and lives, even favourite hockey players! In the end that’s what makes us all unique. Unique is what we should all be striving for. We are all rare and in rarity there is so much potential.

We do not want to imitate anyone. We accept others – yes, but we need to celebrate – our differences.

Each one of us is special and there is a reason for that. God or whomever you believe in made you special for a unique purpose in this life, one that no-one else on this earth can do. It’s like mixing a special formula for a specific purpose. That’s you. That is pretty cool when you look at it that way. ~“Be yourself, everyone else is taken!!’

6) On a personal level, what would you like to do to help in the fight against bullying?

A: Mother Teresa said “If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.” This is a very profound and useful statement not only for hunger of the world, but for world hunger for change.

What I take away from Mother Teresa’s message is do what you can to help, one person-to person at a time. Even with your children, everything starts at home. It’s not possible to reach all the people at once. That’s how I chose to do my part. Whether it’s on social media, at the grocery store, wherever I am, I try to be the sunshine – not the rain cloud. I smile at people on the street, compliment someone on Twitter, tell someone I love I appreciate them. I don’t wait for anything in return, I just hope the kindness effect snowballs. It’s not always easy and I have days where the negativity gets to me too, but overall, I remind myself to try to keep my thoughts positive.

Some people thrive on drama and hurting others. I’m not exactly sure what they think they have to gain by behaving like this.
I understand as I too can occasionally lose my temper when something upsets me. Usually, what I feel to be “injustices” affect me the most. If I see something as hypocritical or wrong, I want to call it out right away.

The reason I feel an urge to call people out right away is not because I think they are “wrong” “dumb” or that I am “better” or “smarter” then them in any way.
I would say the reason I do this, is because I care. If I didn’t I would just say nothing. I don’t like people I care about to be perceived in the wrong way, I can’t help it. It bugs me so much.

I could just mind my business and let them continue to go on this way. I feel that a true friend will say something to you, to point out when they don’t agree – you might not even be aware of what you are doing or how you are being perceived by others. It’s ok to agree to disagree. It’s not ok for someone to dismiss your truth and opinion because it doesn’t suit theirs. You should always feel heard by others even if there is a difference of agreement.

That is respect between friends. Always have a voice and express yourself. If someone doesn’t respect that about you, then they aren’t right for you, or people you need in your life.

7)  What advice would you give to someone who is suffering through this nightmare at the moment?

A: Anyone feeling bad about themselves at the hands of others needs to keep a few things in mind:

1) Insecure people feel the need to put down others in order to feel good about themselves. It’s always been a growing epidemic. People are constantly critiquing, and judging others way too harshly to standards that they would not hold themselves to! To boot, then they will  berate you for it.

2) People think that everyone around them should perfect, yet they don’t even look at themselves long enough in the mirror to find a flaw of their own (hypocritical).

3) Today’s society has a standard for women – to look a certain way, be a certain weight, or have a certain look or they are deemed inadequate – but I ask you who made these standards? Why can’t each individual be just that – an individual.

4) Society has driven this generation to become pin-up girls or playboy bunnies, then they bully them that they are “sluts”. I have such a problem with bullying. You see it everywhere now. Girls forming groups and attacking others because they don’t act the same, or think, or speak the same. News flash: no one is supposed to be the same! There are no two sets of identical finger prints for a reason. We are all different. There is no shame in that.

5) We need to teach each other that it’s ok to be who you are. To love who you are and the skin you are in. It is not that hard.

6) Stop focusing on fitting in. Stop worrying about where you fit in. Ask yourself this question why do you need to fit in? You were never meant to. This need to fit in drives people to do anything for everyone else but most often this just leads people to be taken advantage of, and or to have expectations from others that will lead to disappointment, and lead to hurt feelings of betrayal, and ultimately low self-esteem for you.

7) Don’t fall for the “Wolf Pack Mentality” (as I like to call it) The definition being: the strongest wolf out of the pack and most intelligent would be the leader and holds the reins through respect not force. Any wolf that disturbs their role will be forced out. Each wolf complies for their own survival. Perhaps they are weaker, or less intelligent or not strong enough. YOU ARE STRONG. BELIEVE IT. Be yourself and the right people will love you for it.

The last piece of advice I want to share was given to my favourite childhood bear ‘Winnie the Pooh’: “Promise me you’ll always remember; you’re braver than you think, stronger than you seem and smarter than you know

8) Have you had many media interviews?

A: No I have not. This is my first one.

9)  Who and/or what are your inspirations?

A: My inspirations are any strong and supportive women who inspire and pave the way for other young women. Maya Angelou’s words have always struck a powerful message for me. One of my all time poems she wrote will always be “Still, I Rise” – Maya Angelou

10) What is on your agenda professionally for the rest of 2014?

A: I have decided to take some creative writing classes this fall from home. My long-term goal is to write a book and incorporate some of my life stories, for which I aspire to help other young ladies, “show them the way” and to give them hope. If I can get through my dilemmas I can encountered in life based on the wrong choices or bad hand I’ve been dealt at times, and yet come through them on the other side, so can they. If I could touch one person and help them, then for me, it wouldn’t be in vain.

11) Do you have a special message you would like to share with the world?

A:  Some days I think back on my life and I wonder, was it all a dream?
I’ve been able to handle a lot more than some people have to go through in their lives, but maybe not as much as others go through.
I’ve always looked at life as an adventure.
I have always had faith in God and really, I have to believe, that’s what has always got me through.
I, somehow, just knew, that no matter what I went through or whatever was going to come my way it would be ok. To some extent, I was right.

As I look back now, sitting here feeling  grateful for my life, the life I wasn’t even sure how I would get to, but luckily got here somehow.
I can acknowledge that there was always a sense inside of me, that someday I would end up here – and I have.

I’m happy and blessed, but I wasn’t always blessed with the way I feel today.

I came from a humble background – I was raised by my single Mom. My Dad left when I was a kid and I had a step Dad for a while but that didn’t last.

My Mom worked hard to always make sure we had food and a roof over mine and my sister’s heads, but we didn’t have much growing up. My parents split when I was two, because of my father’s abuse of my mother.

My father was never around growing up, and because of his abuse on my mother at such a young age, I had a very distorted view on my relationships with guys growing up.

I didn’t have a clear view of how men were supposed to treat me and the cycle of abuse continued with me. My father recently passed and I had to make peace with my past that I wouldn’t get the answers from him I felt like I needed.

In the end, I have forgiven him and I made it through all the dark times in my life with a positive attitude and since I decided to start making the right choices for myself, my life changed before my eyes.

I truly believe if I can do it so can you!

You just need to talk to the right people, find the right support system, but most importantly it needs to come from inside. You need to believe in yourself and in a higher power that however you want your life to go, you can get there, all you need is the right frame of mind.

The purpose of my journey hasn’t always been clear, neither will yours. One thing I can say for certain is that, neither one of us asked for this. To be born to this life.

Here’s the bottom line, we’re here. We have arrived. We aren’t going anywhere yet. If you look hard enough, we all have a sad story. It’s no reason to throw in the towel, ever.

I look at life like a roller coaster ride, it has ups, downs, loops. Sometimes you’re even upside down. For some people the ride can make you laugh, scream, or cry. It can scare you or it can give you some of the best feelings of your life. Sometimes you ride alone and sometimes you get special people who will hold your hand through it all.

Ask yourself this: do you want to make this the best ride of your life or the worst ride? The choice is always yours.

The Anti Bullying blog belongs to Lannah Sawers-Diggins





Thanks for Reading… Until next time Jen XO

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